ESTABLISHED IN 1967
Here's one way to find out whether you qualify for work as a Hotshot. Stuff what
you think you need for a week into a backpack, making sure it weighs at least 50
pounds. If you don't need to carry that much food, add rocks to your pack till it
weighs at least that much.
Start hiking cross-country, and make sure you're going at a good clip for at least
10 hours per day on steep slopes -- and make sure you're awake for at least 20
hours per day. If you see big movable stuff, such as rocks and logs, pick them up
and move them. The bigger they are and the farther and faster you move them,
the more it counts. Fall down a lot, and bang yourself up on rocks and roots as
often as possible. Thrash around in the brush, get good and scraped, and go
without food and water as much as possible.
Practice sleeping while standing up. This is critical. Practice it enough to where
you sort of get to like it.
Try to attract as many mosquitoes and yellowjackets and bees and flies and snakes
as possible, and get bit by as many as you can in as many places as possible. Get
as wet and muddy as possible, and get as hot and dusty and generally filthy as you
possibly can. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BATHE.
Keep this up for a week. If you're still alive, and if you think you're having a good
time, you may just make it as a Hotshot. If you're genuinely having the time of your
life and you want more of this, someone may want to hire you.